


Give it to Me

by TheFanficMaster



Series: Gauche/Lag Universe [1]
Category: Tegami Bachi | Letter Bee
Genre: First Kiss, Lag thinks his love is unrequinted, M/M, Nightmares, Shotacon, but its really not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-28 09:36:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20423789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFanficMaster/pseuds/TheFanficMaster
Summary: "...Your pain, your hate, your sadness and your tears...your smiles...everything about you...give it to me.”





	Give it to Me

Living with Gauche was more than what Lag had ever hoped for. Working alongside him as a Bee was his dream and it had come true. He couldn't ask for more than that.

But lately, he had been thinking selfish thoughts, things like how he wished Gauche would pay him more attention than Aria, than Sylvette, than anyone else. And that scared him, just a little bit. He didn't quite know what to do about it. He wasn't stupid and it didn't take a genius to figure out what these feelings meant.

But Gauche feeling the same way was...so far out of his league that Lag could physically feel sick at the mere thought.

Even still, he did his best to plaster on a smile when he was with Gauche because...he'd worked so hard to get this man by his side. What right did he have to want more, especially when Gauche was still adjusting to the trauma, to having his memories back in their entirety? Lag couldn't even begin to imagine what it was like, having had yourself ripped from your very heart only for it to eventually be put back all at once.

He had tried getting rid of this feeling, he truly had. But no matter what he did, his heart only sang when he was with Gauche. Something had been ignited within him that first meeting, something that he couldn't deny even if he wanted to.

Lag sighed as he stared down at his food. Breakfast was lively as usual, Niche running around to escape Sylvette and avoid brushing her teeth as per usual. Gauche had been out late on a delivery and had gotten home past when Lag was asleep the night before. He was currently taking his turn in the bathroom upstairs, making him a tad bit late for breakfast.

Lag hoped he got to see him before he headed out, even though it hurt to look him in the face....

A hand landed on his head and ruffled at his hair. Lag glanced up, realizing that he'd been so out of it he hadn't heard Gauche come down the stairs.

“G-Gauche--?”

“Are you all right?” He asked quietly, so as to not be noticed by Sylvette who was yelling after Niche. “I called your name three times.”

“O-Oh.” Lag let his gaze drift back down to his food, feeling like all he wanted to do was go back to sleep. This was too much, far too much for someone to handle. No wonder people did stupid things when the one they loved didn't love them back. Lag had been uncertain about it before, but he was beginning to understand now.

There was a moment of silence (save for Sylvette's yelling), before a gentle hand cupped Lag's cheek and turned his head to face Gauche once more. Lag's eyes widened and he couldn't stop the flush that crept up onto his face. Gauche was staring down at him thoughtfully, both hands on Lag's cheeks.

“Gauche...?” His heart was racing, pounding so hard he felt it in his ears down to his toes. He was sure Gauche could feel it too and he was suddenly so nervous he didn't know what to do with it.

Gauche smiled softly and pulled his hands away. “Eat your breakfast.”

Lag's heart felt like it was in his throat. He swallowed around the odd feeling of anxiety and excitement that was running through his veins and went back to his food, eating it with more gusto than before. He didn't notice Gauche watching him as he sat down at the other end of the table, a pensive look on his face.

Work kept Lag gone for a few days, but when he returned it was well past dinner. Gauche was still out, it seemed, visiting Dr. Thunderland. Lag forced a smile and ignored Niche's look of confusion as she stared at him.

Lag awoke in the middle of the night with tears in his eyes and his hand outstretched toward the ceiling. He blinked, trying to dislodge the tears. It worked—they slipped free and down his cheeks, leaving his vision blurry but with enough clarity that he could make out his surroundings. The room that had been converted into a bedroom after Gauche returned so Gauche could have his old room back.

Niche and Steak were asleep beside him. Lag turned to look at them, unsure if he should move or not. But his want for hot chocolate eventually drove him to slipping quietly out of the bed and heading down the stairs, careful not to wake anyone in the house.

However, when he entered the kitchen...Gauche was sitting in the dark, a mug of hot tea steaming in front of him. He had his chin resting in his open palm as he stared at the wall, eyes glazed over in thought.

Lag found himself staring for far longer than necessary, remembering the dream that had brought tears to his eyes.

_'Gauche!' He ran toward the man that seemed...so far away all of a sudden. Gauche's expression was dark and twisted, one of pain, of anguish, as he turned and began to walk away._

_'No!' Lag ran as fast as his small legs could carry him. 'Don't leave me, Gauche!'_

_'Gauche!'_

He snapped out of it to find Gauche staring at him, blinking warily. Lag reached up to cover his mouth with both hands, realizing that he'd said Gauche's name unconsciously. The older man stared at him for several moments before a small smile crossed his lips.

“...Lag...what are you doing awake...?”

Lag opened his mouth, lowering his hands, but all that came out was a choked sob. Gauche blinked and stood with surprise, not expecting him to suddenly...burst into tears. Lag had been getting better at not crying over every little thing, so this had to be something important. “Lag...?”

Lag didn't remember moving, didn't remember telling his feet to head toward Gauche. He didn't remember burying his face in the other's stomach either, sobbing quietly into his white shirt.

He was brought back to himself when arms wrapped around him and Gauche slowly lowered himself to his knees, bringing Lag close to his chest with a little strained smile. Lag's hands shook as he shook his head, trying to make the tears stop.

“Why are you crying?”

“I'm just...so happy to see you...” Lag managed after a moment. “So happy, my heart hurts.”

Gauche's eyes softened and he placed a hand on top of Lag's head, ruffling his hair gently. “--A nightmare...?” He guessed. Lag stiffened and then nodded slowly, pulling back as he stared down at the ground.

“...You were leaving...and you looked so...” In so much pain. “...I kept screaming, but I don't think you could hear me...” Lag reached up and wiped at his eyes. “You just...kept walking away from me...no matter how fast I ran...I...I couldn't get close--”

Lag found one of his hands grabbed gently in a larger one. He looked up just in time for that hand to put Lag's against a strong, sturdy chest. Lag blinked as he focused on the heartbeat under his fingertips, thrumming in a steady rhythm.

Gauche's heart...

“Lag,” Gauche began, his gentle smile never leaving his face. “You brought this heart back to me. It's not going anywhere, not of its own will. I refuse to lose it again. I will fight until my last breath to keep it.”

To keep you, to keep Sylvette, to keep this life. It went unsaid, but Lag heard it loud and clear.

That feeling was in his chest, the feeling of...loving Gauche so much he might just break into pieces. He momentarily forgot how to breathe, so focused on that heartbeat and memorizing the feel of it so he could imagine it later, thrumming against his chest like he was being carried. It was a little dumb, but it comforted Lag to imagine Gauche's heartbeat when he was upset or scared. Just...thinking about it reminded him that Gauche was alive and well, that he remembered him, that he had returned from the hell he'd been through. Not unscathed, maybe in pieces, but he had returned.

Lag clenched his fingers in the shirt again, bowing his head. He didn't think he could keep this all inside anymore.

“...Gauche...” The older man tilted his head, curious about the sudden change in atmosphere. Lag was silent for a few moments.

“...I really...I...” Lag stuttered, trying to force the words out. He trembled with fear, feeling his fingers clench harder in the fabric of the other's cotton shirt.

_'I'm so scared, but I--'_

“Give it to me...” He finally managed and the floodgates opened. “...Your pain, your hate, your sadness and your tears...your smiles...everything about you...give it to me.”

Lag looked up, meeting stunned eyes as they stared at each other in silence. That hadn't been what he had meant to say, but the words came unbidden now.

“...I love you.”

“...Lag.” It was all the older man could say, the boy's name as he felt Lag's fingers trembling against his chest. Slowly, a smile crossed his lips and he leaned forward without realizing it, gently pressing their foreheads together and closing his eyes.

“...All right.”

Lag's eyes widened and were soon met with gentle spheres staring into his own. From this close, he could make out every speck in the other's beautiful eyes.

It took his breath away.

“You can have it. I'll give it to you,” Gauche whispered, reaching up to trace Lag's cheeks with his thumbs. What was he doing? He shouldn't be doing this.

But the bond they shared...it was special, perhaps even beyond love.

And they both knew it.

“I...can really have it?”

_'I can really have you?'_

Gauche nodded, brushing his thumbs across the boy's lips. Lag trembled under the touch, his entire body and heart singing for Gauche.

“...C...Can...” Lag's mouth felt dry. “Can I kiss you...?”

“Yes.”

  
Lag closed his eyes and gathered all of his courage. He slowly leaned in the inch he needed to.

Gauche's lips were warm, chapped from the harsh wind he often traveled in, soft and tasting of the tea that was slowly growing cold on the table.

The pressure that pressed back against Lag's lips made his knees buckle.

Gauche caught him before he could hit the ground, holding him securely in his arms before standing with Lag holding onto him. “...Let's go to sleep.”

“B-But...your tea...”

“I'll clean it up in the morning,” Gauche spoke quietly, carrying Lag out of the kitchen and up the stairs. Lag stared up at him, his hero, his love...his everything...and felt tears enter his eyes again.

He didn't let them fall, even as Gauche crawled into his bed, resting on his side with Lag nestled in his arms.

He was so warm....

“Sleep,” Gauche spoke against Lag's hair and the boy stared at the pale skin of his neck for several moments before closing his eyes.

“...Okay...”

Sleep came easy in Gauche's arms that night. He didn't have that nightmare again.


End file.
